Drowning
by chaotiksoldier
Summary: Aftering recovering from the Lifestream at Mideel, Cloud sets his mind to return to a place that has become a nightmare in more ways than one. There, he'll fill in the last few pieces of his memories, but he'll also find some unexpected company and with a Turk no less. Even so, these two unlikely duo share a connection and some struggles with the past. (Oneshot.)


Cloud had to go back.

The young blond man had been determined to see this through after he and Tifa had been recovered from the Lifestream in Mideel and told everybody of the true memories he regained as well as where he wanted to go now. Even when Barret and Cid had teamed up to protest that they should immediately take up the opportunity to get to Sephiroth while the path to the crater was now open, Cloud merely shook his head and simply pleaded that it was something he had to do first. After a long silence and a few thoughtful glances to others, everyone complied and set off to their destination.

Never would Cloud have imagined of his newfound fear of returning to Nibelheim until now.

Even if that fear was directed more towards Shinra Manor in particular, the former infantryman found himself already walking slowly down the hidden staircase that led to the basement. As he carefully touched the wall to support himself while he took each step, Cloud was relieved that he came alone. Only Tifa had really wanted to go along anyway, but Vincent had stopped all thoughts of accompanying the blond and suggested that they let him deal with this alone. Thus, the rest of the group decided to wait in the Highwind until Cloud finished what he needed to do. Sighing, he was grateful for sharing the mutual understanding with the former Turk and that no one was here to see how deeply hard this was both physically and mentally as he walked through the dark hallway leading straight to the long deserted lab.

Once he entered, his enhanced vision immediately caught sight of the two mako tanks not too far from where he stood. Cloud really didn't think much of it when he last been here with Sephiroth, who had talked about the Reunion at the time, but now he looked at them with a whole new perspective and approached the machinery with slow recognition. It was only a matter of a few minutes until the blond had noticed a few scratches on both tanks that read, "We had to get out of here," and, "Almost feeding time. Let's get outta here." Upon seeing them, Cloud grew more drawn to the familiarity and, without much thought, reached out to touch one of the scratches.

Once he touched the dust covered glass, however, Cloud's mind was swarmed with an intense headache.

The sharp pain had made the blond stumble back a step and he eventually wasn't sure how long he stood there with his hands on his head, but it felt like an eternity until the headache finally subsided. Cloud didn't even notice how hard he was breathing until he put his hands down and, once he calmed down, looked up at the tanks with a completely different expression now.

"Do you remember, ex-SOLDIER Strife?"

Reflective instinct took over Cloud as he reached for the hilt of his sword and turned his whole body to the direction of the entrance. His mind was already calculating his disadvantage since the only means of escaping was blocked off and the room had provided limited space to dodge any incoming attacks by—

"Tseng?" Blue eyes went wide at the sight of the Turk, who looked a little exhausted and wore a few bandages on his face. Cloud's eyes trailed to the cane he held in his left hand while the Turk tried to straighten his posture in acknowledgment and it was that moment that the blond released his grip from his blade's hilt. There was no point in fighting a wounded man. "…Wow. I'm surprised you're still standing now after what Sephiroth did to you back at…" Cloud looked down, guilt overwhelming him with the memory of a certain close friend. "… the Temple of the Ancients."

There was a small moment of silence until Cloud looked up at the sound of Tseng shifting his weight to lean on his right side now, his face looking down this time. His enhanced eyes barely caught a glimpse of thoughtfulness, sadness, and regret that shown on the Turk Leader's face before he wiped it clean to look back at Cloud. Despite how easily he pushed those emotions away, his voice sounded differently than when he first addressed him as he said, "Nothing is impossible for the Turks." A pause. "… Though it may be hard to believe since I had my orders, I never did wish harm to Aerith at all."

Surprised and a bit skeptical by Tseng's words, Cloud didn't know how to respond to that. The tension in the air did fade by a small fraction, however, it was instead filled with silence again until the blond remembered what Tseng had asked earlier. "You probably know this already, but I never did make it into SOLDIER."

Tseng's head tilted in interest, but there was no trace of surprise. "Indeed, ex- cadet Strife. You do remember." The Turk quirked an eyebrow up at the sight of Cloud slumping his posture a bit after what he said. To the well-trained eyes of a Turk, Tseng recognized the signs of vulnerability and sudden low self-esteem.

Is the young man disappointed?

It took another long filled silence, but Cloud didn't even bother regaining himself nor meeting the other's eyes when he finally stated, "Yeah, I remember everything now." He swallowed, eyes scanning at nothing in particular. "What really happened at Nibelheim, what Hojo did, and… Zack." By the sound of his tone, even an unskilled person would've clearly heard the pain in the former infantryman's voice as he said the name and the Turk refrained from asking what he wanted to know since their disappearance years ago. He instead became patient in listening to the man voice his thoughts. "After all that, I can't believe I forgot and…" Cloud had lifted his hand to reach for the hilt of the giant sword that rested on his back, but when his fingertips had touched the metal, he pulled away as if it burned. "…yet I…" The young blond couldn't explain further how he felt so he trailed off and left it that, his posture slumping a little more at his growing frustration.

"It's as if you're still drowning in those mako tanks."

Once again surprised by his words, Cloud looked at Tseng, who had made a small smile of amusement. The blond was going to get upset and assume that the Turk was mocking him, but said Turk merely shook his head in reassurance despite that he kept the expression on his face. Then, before Cloud could ask, Tseng saved him time by explaining, "You're upset with yourself." Shifting his weight so he could balance with his cane, Tseng proceeded to walk towards the desk so it was between him and Cloud. "You're feeling overwhelmingly guilty, regret, and disappointed for not handling the situation better. Even when you were unconscious of reality and had no way of control by yourself, you still struggle."

"So what are you trying to say?" Cloud's tone hinted a bit of irritation at the comparison, but he still looked at Tseng with a bit of curiosity. After a few moments of looking thoughtful at each other, Tseng couldn't help but look away and laugh ever so lightly. He didn't even need to look to know that Cloud had taken a few steps around the table to get closer and demand with much impatience, "What's so funny?"

Unable to compose himself right away, Tseng simply shook his head in reassurance again and, this time, Cloud had a hard time believing it until the Wutai man looked up at him again with much respect. "I apologize." His smile dropped, but only by a bit. "I am merely suggesting that you shouldn't bother being upset at yourself. It wouldn't do to have to be saved twice from something that wasn't your fault in the first place."

Finally realizing the message, Cloud awkwardly shuffled at his spot in embarrassment. "Oh." He started, looking down at a stain in the floor. "Well, when you put it that way… I don't know." Cloud shook his head at bit, shaking whatever doubt he had in his mind. "No, I can't really come in terms with all of this yet. I still have some unsettled business with Sephiroth." Hands clenched, Cloud looked up at Tseng with fierce determination. "Once we defeat him and succeed in making Aerith's sacrifice worth saving the world …" He paused to grab the hilt of the sword without hesitation and held up the enormous weapon in front of both of them. "… then I'll… apologize. That much I have to do."

After saying that, Cloud looked at Tseng for a reaction and saw that the Turk had completely wiped away his emotions again yet there still seemed to be a small interest in his eyes, but he wasn't sure until the Turk nodded in acknowledgment. "Do what you have to do." He paused. "… For the both of them."

Cloud made a face and was considering his sudden curiosity, but he decided against it and returned the Buster Sword on his back. "I will." With both of them nodding at each other, Cloud was done with what he needed to do and left the basement—and Nibelheim—with no thought of ever coming back again. Now that he remembered everything, there was nothing left but to move forward.

Tseng, on the other hand, watched him go with a sad glint in his eye. Just like Cloud, Tseng was reminded of a lot of things he wished he could have done differently. In this case, he especially had regretted not being able to find Zack and was glad that his only living legacy, Cloud, didn't ask him if he had known the deceased ex-SOLDIER. If the blond were to ever know, and he wouldn't keep the truth from him if he asked, Cloud would come to resent the Turk Leader for being too late. To make matters worse, Tseng's burden only grew once Aerith had died and that in turn had led the weary Turk to fail and tarnish his only SOLDIER friend's faith and trust in him, seemingly since Zack didn't know who to trust at the time.

With a sigh, Tseng felt like he could relate to Cloud in a lot more ways than one.

"Hey, Tseng?" Cloud's voice had chimed in, almost surprising the usually cautious Turk. Tseng had wondered if Cloud decided to finally ask the question he dreaded by the look of deep thought on his face and the Turk felt his controlled emotions slowly falling out of place as Cloud said—

"Thank you. You really tried to help me out there… and it was more than enough."

This time, unable to contain his emotions after years of doing so, Tseng was completely surprised by Cloud's words. It wasn't that he was surprised by the polite manner, but the meaning of the words seemed to have held a bit of a deeper meaning by the look on Cloud's face, which bore into the Turk's eyes in a way that made him wonder if it was really Cloud speaking to him or not. Tseng would never be able to figure that out as the young blond man had left for good this time. Several long minutes had passed since then until Tseng could finally muster a smile that didn't feel forced and slight at the least.

"I should be the one thanking you. You saved a lot more lives than you know."


End file.
